


It was never going to end well

by lovesnivy



Category: Eddsworld - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Short & terrible, fusion but everything goes horribly wrong immediately, lets go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-05-25
Packaged: 2019-05-13 12:09:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14748593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovesnivy/pseuds/lovesnivy
Summary: Tom and Tord have accidentally fused, but they're not exactly stable.





	It was never going to end well

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lil bit of swearing...  
> Ok, there's quite a bit of swearing, but mind you, you probably wouldn't want to be reading this if your parents were behind you anyway.  
> Oh yeah, and body horror warning. 'Cause yeah.

Tom woke up.

He couldn’t remember how he passed out, and definitely didn’t remember why he was in the middle of Tord’s lab in a puddle of something or other at all, but his body felt far too heavy for him to bother trying to find out.

As much as he didn’t want to do anything, however, something felt very, very wrong and he was more than uncomfortable in his own body. Wracking his brain for what happened was confusing, to say the least. Just a flurry of red and blue and noise and then nothing.

Then Tord woke up.

Tom immediately shot up as a weight was lifted, and the new conscious presence was very much felt.

"What… the… fuck?" Tom breathed, his hands suddenly flying to his mouth without his control.

"… Whaaat’s going on…?" Tord’s accent broke through as the hands lowered, "wha-"

"HOLY-" Tom exclaimed as he suddenly began looking frantically about their body, and what a bountyful find it was. A mismatched hoodie, three arms and an extra left foot were definitely not the regular, and they couldn't even see their face.

"HOLY KITTENS IN A COTTON FACTORY"

"Stop! Stop!" Tord ordered, holding their head still, "don’t do that! You're making me dizzy!"

"Stop talking then, it’s weird!"

"No!"

Tom shook their head as hard as he could, even through Tord’s screeches to stop, until they coughed up a small bit of sick. Their head was pounding by then and Tom was positive he could hear Tord talking to himself, even though their mouth wasn’t moving. Tom decided to give him a minute anyway, he needed to sort his thoughts on the situation, and perhaps it was nothing.

... Tord was still muttering.

"… Shut up, I can't concentrate..."

"I’m not saying anything, you Jehovah’s twat, leave me alone already…"

"Yes you are, shut up. Real creative insult by the way, commie."

Their thoughts were beginning to intertwine by now. They could hear each other. _They could hear each other. Stop. Stop it. Shut up. Be quiet. It’s **loud**._

"Shut up already!"

"Why don’t you?!"

"I’m not saying ANYTHING, though!"

"NEITHER AM I, APPARENTLY!"

"YES YOU ARE, BE QUIET!"

"SHUT UP!"

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

"GET OUT OF MY _BODY_ ‼"

They gripped their head, weakly pulling at their hair. Neither could concentrate but bits of pieces of what happened were flying about in their head. A chemical spilled. A fight started. A fusion began? Tord’s fault. No, Tom was the one who knocked it over. Who started it? They couldn’t agree. They didn’t even want to at this point.

Edd walked in.

The scene of Tom and Tord gripping their head in the middle of the room, sitting in a small but very noticeable puddle of what looked like liquidised flesh and shouting at each other in anguish was not exactly a excellent one. Neither had noticed Edd’s presence in the room. Their head was pounding with the worst headache either had ever had the _pleasure_ of dealing with, and when this includes worse than Tom and his hangovers, you knew it couldn't be any sort of good. Neither was ready to back down, but that just meant their mind was only full of unhindered shouting and screaming as they yelled at each other in the physical world.

"HEY‼" the cola addict called, catching their attention, "what… who are you? What’s going on in here?"

"EDD‼" they exclaimed at the same time, "thank god-"

"You have to help-"

"It’s me, To-"

"Shut u-"

"No!"

"God fucking damn it‼"

"Wait, wait what?" Edd questioned, walking up to them as they obviously couldn’t choose a direction to look in or position to sit in or an existence to be happy in, "Tom…? Tord…?"

Almost all they could do was stressfully grasp at their hair and try not to scream again, but Tom managed to shakily nod as they struggled just to not claw at themselves. Having a mental battle and attempting to involve themselves in conversation at the same time was stressful, to say the least.

"Hey, hey, calm down there," Edd gently slapped their cheek to bring them back to reality, "hey! Look at me, please?"

Unsteadily, the poor fusion complied and guiltily looked at the green clad man who had crouched down for them. Even managing that, they couldn't help glancing away every other moment.

"Just look at me, ok? What happened? One at a time. Tom, go first."

"I- I don’t know, I just woke up and he was here a-and I think we got in a fight?" Tom tried explaining, "I- I can hear him, Edd, i-in my head, I don’t like it."

"Oh… oh gosh, uh… Tord, got any explanation for this?"

"W-we spilled some sort of melding chemical on ourselves i-in a fight, I think…" Tord slightly clarified, "but… I can hardly remember most of it, he’s so damn loud, I can’t even think properly…"

The fusion started trying to back away, twitching and curling up as they started fighting in their head again over Tord’s comment, only to be brought back again by Edd holding their face towards him.

"Hey! Hey, come on; don’t think about him, look at me, you’re ok, ok?"

"Edd, w-we can’t just… y-you can’t just do this, you can’t distract us, we’re not fine; this isn’t ok at all!"

"I know, but I bet I can distract you two long enough to calm down a little, though. Come on, why don’t we go sit on the sofa and work out how we’re going to fix this, huh? Sound good?"

"F-fu- f- ckin- f-fine… sounds f-fine…"

It was awkward, but Edd managed to get their arm over his shoulder, and they managed to, albeit very gradually and precariously, stand up. Edd had to almost constantly talk to them just to stop them from returning to their mind and arguing.

"Alright, we’re up, see, we’re making progress already!" Edd celebrated, even though he was pretty much keeping their entire weight up, "ok, we’re gonna walk now-"

"E-Edd, I-I can’t do this, I don-d-don’t-" Tom stuttered uncontrollably, starting to break down and tear up, "g-get him _out_ , p-please-plea-please… a-"

" _ **F-fuCK—‼**_ "

Suddenly, they fell through Edd’s support to the floor with a yelp, almost dripping as they tried desperately to breathe and support their form. Before Edd could even begin to panic, they had thrown up and had started seeming to be… splitting apart? Ok, yep, Edd was definitely panicking now.

"What’s going on?!"

"I-I do-dOOn’T… k-Kno0Ow…??!" their garbled voice tried to respond, before throwing up the rest of the contents of their stomach.

"H-hang on, I-" Edd quickly tried going around seeing their face, but it wasn’t a pretty sight, being pretty much two by the time he saw it, "oh my god…"

And then they were screaming. In pain, this time, not at each other. Edd didn’t really think either was better, but then again, he didn’t have much time for thinking before the screaming became strained as two heads had formed along with far too many limbs for one person.

"Holy fucking cola- a-are you guys ok?!"

"NnNN-N0oO!" Tom and Tord both shrieked back in exasperation.

The mere fact that they were able to work up the ability to speak at this point was quite remarkable. Each was slipping further from consciousness by the moment from the mere excruciating pain, yet it was happening frustratingly slowly, upsetting both of them; Tom, who just wanted to get it over with, and Tord, who was fighting with all his mental energy to cling to the real world. Even the fact that not even their sworn enemy was getting his way fuelled their shared rage at the situation and physical instability.

All this was happening, but, of course, all Edd could tell was that they were in pain. They were splitting apart in the most violent and painful manner possible. They needed _help_. But he had no idea what to do. Should he even interfere? Is there anything to stop it? To just stop even just the pain they were in? Edd was completely frozen in fear, completely without answers.

And then Matt walked into the mess. Oh, goody!

Matt had planned only to go in there and tell them to stop overreacting to whatever so he could return to a date with his third favourite mirror, but as soon as he spotted the tangle of writhing red and blue clad body parts on the floor being overseen by a petrified Edd, Matt realised there was actually a pretty good reason for the screaming and wailing. It was a pretty good reason to be horrified himself, as well.

"What’s happening?!" Matt exclaimed, "what is that?!"

"I don’t know!" Edd returned, clearly panicking, "I came in here and Tom and Tord were fused, so I tried to help them up but they just fell through me and started splitting apart, and I don’t have a clue what I’m supposed to do!"

"Tom and Tord were _what-ed_?!"

"Fused, I don’t even- I don’t know how they managed to do any of this!"

"W-well, at least they’ve… stopped screaming?"

"Huh? Oh…"

Edd had been freaking out so badly that he hadn’t even noticed that the two had finally fallen unconscious. Not even completely separated, mind you; their torso was torn apart half way down and limbs were simply connected wherever they happened to unfortunately cross paths. Going from an almost regular person to two sloppily connected people in a matter of half a minute must’ve been excruciating, and the mere thought of it made Edd shudder. At least they were fine. Probably.

Staring at them for a few more moments, he realised that they were still breaking up despite being out cold, albeit much slower than before, and occasionally twitching as it seemed their nervous systems were still functioning.

"What do we do with them…?" Matt suddenly enquired, knocking Edd off of his train of thought.

"… I… think we should just leave them for a little while…" the cola addict slowly suggested, "waking them up wouldn’t be a good idea. I think… I think they’re still splitting apart, if we leave them they’ll probably just split completely and we can pretend this never happened"

"Ok, b-but... are you sure they’re ok, though?"

"Honestly, I don’t think either of them will be ok for the next week; that had to be a pretty rough experience…"

"Oh… oh gosh, what did I miss?"

"A whole bunch of stuff you really didn’t miss out on. We should go..."

And so Edd and Matt left the room, a little more shaken up that they had hoped to be that day.

The question of just what the heck Tom and Tord had done to themselves was a charming one, but a question that could wait until they weren't half stuck together and unconcious from pain.

 

-

 

Tord woke up.

He had a real bad headache and everything else ached like all hell. Somehow, it was quieter than it usually was. It was usually pretty quiet anyway when he woke up, but somehow, this time was more silent. Maybe it was because he was in the lab. Actually, that was most likely it. He didn’t bother questioning why, though. It was definitely going to be a long story he’d rather not deal with and probably didn't need to know.

Looking to his right, he immediately jumped with a yelp and crawled away in surprise as he spotted Tom, who was lying right next to him. That was exactly why he didn’t want to deal with why he was unconscious in the lab. _He_ was involved. Tom's face scrunched up a little as he woke up and stretched on the floor with a yawn, before glancing left. He definitely saw Tord, but just looked back up to stare at the ceiling.

And then he processed who it was and quickly looked back.

"… Alright, why the hell am I in the lab? … Wait a moment… holy shit."

What had he…? Oh. Oh god. That happened? Tord had assumed the events of a mere thirty minutes prior were just a nightmare, but after realising they were both in another puddle of what they’d both rather not name, it was proven pretty scarily real.

"… Let’s not do that again. Ever." Tord deadpanned with a look of grimace.

"Gladly." Tom replied, staring back up at the ceiling, arms behind his head, "can we also agree that it didn’t happen?"

"Yes. And, you have to stay out of my lab from now on."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"Are you really gonna come in here again when knocking over any one of my experiments could do a repeat of _that_?"

"… Fair enough, but that implies you’re going to remake that one, unless you’ve just been a complete moron and made shit tons of the stuff, in which it would be your fault."

"I made enough to be useful, you idiot, so there’s still stuff in here-"

"Why, though?!" Tom complained, throwing his arms up, "that stuff isn’t useful at all, for anything! Why would you even make it?!"

"It was supposed to be used for medical uses like burns to-"

"Yeah, and fusion is going to be _medically useful_ isn’t it?"

"It was _not_ supposed to do that!"

"Well whoop-dee-do, you fucking failed making your dumb medicine"

"Why you- just fuck off out of here already, seeing as you sure don’t think anything in here is worth your time anyway!"

"Yeah, sure," Tom annoyingly replied, getting up, "I don’t, so… oh, you sneaky bastard, I see what you’re doing."

"What?"

"Trying to get me to do what you want ‘cause you’re still hiding something in here!"

"I’m trying to stop that from ever happening again you moron! This is exactly why that happening is no good at all! Another minute of that and we would’ve killed ourselves! And now you’re trying to start another fight in this damn lab like there isn’t a big risk of spilling more of those chemicals and-"

"You guys are already fighting again?" Edd asked as he walked in, gaining guilty looks from the two, "hey, you’re apart again, shouldn’t you have, uh, not stayed together to argue?"

"Yes, _Thomas"_

"No"

"Why, you little-"

"Tord! Tom! Geez, I would’ve thought you would’ve left already, Tom,  you don’t enjoy being in here, and Tord doesn’t like having you here, so…?"

Tom shot Tord an angry look as the Norwegian looked back with snooty triumph. Grumbling, the no-eyed man accepted temporary defeat and left with Edd, glancing back to the two small liquefied masses on the floor of the lab.

At least that hell was over.


End file.
